{Karlton Bontrager}

Because he’d stayed up until almost midnight on Friday night, we expected Karlton to have slept in on Saturday. Not so! When Mom and I went to pick him up for the trip to the airport, he said he’d awoken at the usual time. I drove the three of us to the airport, reminding Karlton that I might need his help finding my way back to ISIS from there (I’m horrible with directions!). He assured me that he could help me out.

Once we arrived and Mom went to check in, we saw Helen, the reflexologist who was dropping her daughter off for a flight. It was nice that Mom was able to say goodbye to her just before taking off for the States again.

After we said our goodbyes to Mom, Karlton and I drove back toward ISIS. At one point, I wasn’t sure about a turn I was to make, and asked Karlton which way to go. He informed me that he had no idea where we were and that he could help me only within Dunedin city center. Some help he was! Despite this, I was able to find the way back to ISIS with no further trouble.

Because of the excitement of the day before, we decided to stay around the ward for the rest of the day. In the evening, Helen stopped by with her son Paul. Paul and Karlton made plans to go to a movie on Sunday.

Because the weekends are less structured in the ward than are the weekedays, and Karlton gets bored if he isn’t kept busy enough, I went in to see him earlier than during the week. It started out a rainy and cold day, so we didn’t make any plans to go outside. Also, Karlton complained that he hadn’t been able to sleep beyond about 6am, and he was looking a bit tired.

We got to talk to Mom a little, who had landed in Los Angeles and was spending some time with Jennifer and Alec. Before we knew it, it was time to go to the movie. Paul called to say that it’d be about dinner time by the time the movie would be over; did we want to grab dinner too? This idea, of course, was much to Karlton’s liking.

After the movie ended, I joined Karlton, Paul, and friend Jamie for dinner at a Thai place. We ended up with quite a lot of food, which Karlton ate with much gusto. One dish was a little too spicy for him, but with the rest of the food, he lived up to his reputation in the family as a bottomless pit. It was good to see him enjoying his food after picking at the hospital meals before that. When we returned to the ward, I checked to see what he would have eaten here. It turned out to be nut balls, something that Karlton does not enjoy in the least. So he was happy not only that he was able to eat out, but also that it was timed so that he missed something he really did’t care for.

As he was getting ready for bed, I noticed that Karlton looked especially tired. His right eye wasn’t very wide open, and he kept yawning. For the first time before me, he admitted that he was feeling tired. He enjoyed the company during his outing (thanks Paul and Jamie!), even if xXx didn’t make his list of favorite movies.

It’s been a little while since an update has been written, mainly because it’s been pretty busy here. I arrived in New Zealand on Wednesday, the 25th of September. It was a great surprise to have Karlton at the airport to meet me. We then went with Mom to lunch at a Japanese restaurant, where Karlton enjoyed quite a large meal.

We dropped him off at ISIS, and then Mom showed me around Dunedin. When we got back to the ward, Karlton was in physiotherapy. He was wearing a body harness, which was clipped onto a safety device attached to a treadmill. The idea was to get him to walk properly on the tread mill, bending his left knee, rather than just pulling up at the hip and swinging his leg around. That proved to be quite a challenge for him. He also had to do some shoulder exercises. It seems as if his shoulder has improved. The physiotherapist told him that he should go in the mornings without his sling, putting it back on during the day when the shoulder becomes sore.

The rest of the day was a little more relaxing, with an afternoon acupuncture treatment, after which we returned to the ward. When it was time to go to bed, Karlton got himself ready and climbed into bed with little assistance. Mom tells me that this was his first time to get ready on his own.

On Thursday, Karlton had a busy morning. He was fitted for an orthotic at Dunedin Public Hospital to replace the temporary leg brace that he is currently using. He was told that he could choose a color for his new brace. Although I encouraged him to try the space-ship pattern, he refused and ended up choosing black. No fun!

In the evening, Karlton, Mom, and I went out to dinner. This, of course, after Karlton had eaten his hospital dinner first. He really enjoys opportunities to have food other than the hospital fare, and the hospital food didn’t stop his appetite at the restaurant. After his second dinner, we stopped by the cafe at which his friend Nina works. He enjoyed catching up with her and a few other friends who were hanging out there. It was quite a long day for him, though.

On Friday, Mom, Karlton, and I met with a physician at ISIS who showed us his CT scans. They were really impressive, considering that I’d only heard about the condition Karlton had been in when he was admitted to the hospital. This was the first I’d seen any of it for myself. Karlton was also very disappointed to be told that he should abstain from alcohol for the rest of his life. I’m sure that when any of you speak to him soon, he’ll bring it up. He keeps asking various staff if there’s any way that he can enjoy the odd beer, say, every six months or so. I’m afraid that their responses haven’t pleased him one bit!

Mom and I wanted to try to see the yellow eyed penguins and maybe some royal albatross in the afternoon. We loaded Karlton up in the car and drove down the peninsula. It was cold, and he wasn’t that interested in seeing birds, so he stayed in the car. The albatross observatory was closed for the breeding season, but we were told that we could hang around the information center and perhaps see a few of the big birds flying around. Unfortunately, as soon as we got to the spot, it began raining with strong wind. So we decided to head back to the car. We were told that there was a whale in the harbor, but given the weather conditions, we didn’t want to stay out too long to try and see it.

In the evening, after dinner with some friends (which, of course, Karlton enjoyed, as it was not hospital food and included pizza), Karlton went out to a rugby game with his friends Sam and Nina. It was a chilly evening, so he bundled up in a big jacket as well as a scarf, hat, and gloves. The game was a good one, but Karlton said that he was unable to see it very well. Nonetheless, he enjoyed the time out and had a great time with his friends.

Monday, 23rd of September – a sunny and warm day again! Karlton is working on balance. Without realizing what he is doing, Karlton lets his right side take over and do a lot of the work when he is trying to stand up, sit down, or walk. And it’s payback time … his right foot and ankle hurt, and so do his leg and hip. The physio has been trying to teach him to put more weight on his left leg when he is getting ready to stand up. It’s such an easy thing for us to get up on one leg but watching Karlton try and try to stand up on his left leg and then lose his balance, makes me appreciate everything I take for granted. I never realized what all goes into being coordinated and balanced.

During the session, Karlton had to place one foot in front of the other and walk on a straight line. It was almost like a sobriety test when he had had way too much to drink. Walking side ways like a crab – but making sure his toes stayed behind the line went much more smoothly. And he did very well walking backwards in a straight line.

At his acupuncture session, the acupuncturists said they had seen improvement in his walking. They want to start strengthening his spinal column next. Yesterday was the first time he did not fall asleep during the massage, cupping, and acupuncture session. I hope his strength is improving and his fatigue threshold is rising.

In the evening we were invited out for dinner at J & R’s house. They had also invited a young Japanese couple who are working in Dunedin. The husband works as a chef at Tokyo House – Karlton had waited tables at Tokyo Garden – both establishments run by the same owners, so they had things in common to talk about. We enjoyed the home cooked Asian food and stayed way past Karlton’s bed time. It was 10:30 by the time he got into bed! I guess this shows that he has come a L-O-N-G way. He would not have been able to stay awake that late just a while back. Great progress!

I would like to start off with special thanks and appreciation to the following people: Mary Jane, Pat, Helen, Maree, Nina, Sam, and Vailoa. Our thank-you also go to all of you who are making Karlton’s rehabilitation easier by sending us e-mails, prayers and positive energies, text messages and phone calls.

Sunday, September 22nd, was our catch-up day. Both Karlton and I took it easy and had a slow, relaxing day. We forget how our body and mind need time off from time to time – and just enjoy the time with no time worries. That’s just about what we did!

Winter was back in Dunedin on Friday, the 20th. It rained hard off and on all day with strong gusts. It was just a very cold day out, but of course Karlton’s world at ISIS was the same. It is always warm here – in some instances, too warm.

Karlton has pretty much adjusted to the routine here, and now, with a fairly workable schedule posted in his room, he feels quite comfortable. He has also come out of his cocoon and eats in the dining room three times daily, makes conversation with other patients, nurses and staff, goes to PT on his own, and can find his way to the computer room. What a long way he has come!

The physiotherapist said she is challenging Karlton more and more, but he does not always want to go beyond his safety zone … quite a change from the old Karlton that we all know. He was always one to have no limits, always challenging himself to more and more until he reached his goal. He is now “fearful”. He wants to make sure he won’t lose his balance, fall and hurt himself. He does not want “pain”. He was never afraid that way, but I have witnessed some of the pain he was subjected to and had to go through over and over – that would make anyone wince and cry.

Nina and Sam stopped by in the evening and we decided to take Karlton for an all day spin and outing on Saturday. It turned out to be a beautiful day – sunny with blue skies! Otago is really beautiful. The country side is very hilly, and you see sheep everywhere. We had a marvelous day, and Karlton was very happy to get out of ISIS.

Wednesday 18th & Thursday 19th of September, 2002. Both mornings, I have been working on clearing insurance (based in London) issues and have started to “wean” myself from spending 12-14 hour days at ISIS. Karlton is at a point where he is able to do a lot for himself and with some assistance shower and get ready for the day. I feel he will do more if I am not around as much, so have decided to wait until around noon to make my appearance. By then he’s had his breakfast, shower, physio, and speech.

There was a question of moving Karlton out of his single room into a 4-bed ward, so he would have more interaction with others. He was not too keen on moving, so we talked, and he said he would go to the dining room for every meal. He said he would try to be sociable and talk with other patients. We thought Karlton was on the right track and thus avoided the move. When I arrived Thursday, a lot of his belongings were on his bed, and cards and pictures were taken off the walls. I asked him what was going on, and he said the nurses want him to move so “I just do what ‘they’ tell me to,” but he was not happy. He said he tried to talk to the charge nurse but had not had an opportunity yet. So of course I went to the nurses station, found her, and explained what was happening. No move for now.

This incident underscored some of the changes in Karlton I had been observing. What happened to his assertiveness? He was not happy with what was going on, and yet he was not able to tell the nurses. Was he afraid of the repercussions if he went against their wishes? He was able to tell me he definitely did not want to move. Did he not know what to do next? I have no answers. He is still quite vocal in other matters and in other instances, but this time he just said, “I just do what I’m told.” That is NOT the Karlton we all know.

Wednesday afternoon was acupuncture and massage day. He slept during most of the treatment. The acupuncturist came in and took his pulse and said it was good. Karlton was told to stand and try to shift all his weight on his left foot, rest, and do it over and over. He was also asked to try to see in his mind moving his fingers of his left hand. Time. Practice. Patience. Exercise. I’m sure he is tired of hearing all these words, but they are the steps he must take to his healing.

Thursday afternoon Helen came and did a reflexology session. She was going to do cranio-sacral too, but Nina and Sam stopped in with pizza and garlic bread, and you know Karlton and food … so Helen will come back another day.

We put a castor oil pack on Karlton’s back tonight. We hope the pain in his back will subside and go away for good! Thank you, Helen, for the water bottles!

Yesterday Karlton had physio in the afternoon because of the meeting in the morning, and the PT noticed a big difference in his energy level. He was definitely fatigued and did not perform at his best, so we decided it would better to have physio in the morning. I had asked at the meeting if Karlton could have a regular schedule that he could follow, and all agreed it might be beneficial for Karlton.

Karlton had been complaining and some staff members have agreed that “Wakari” time is unpredictable. When someone says, “I’ll be there in five minutes”, it can be five minutes, thirty minutes, several hours, or the following day. There was one day when we waited and waited ALL MORNING and JUST ABOUT all AFTERNOON for a staff member to come get Karlton for a session. So now I wrote up a large sized schedule which is up on the wall on Karlton’s room, and hopefully, he can follow everyday.

During physio, his shoulder and arm muscles were stretched and exercised. He had to try to control and hold up his wrist and hand and then try to raise them to his face. He also practiced turning onto his right side while holding onto his upper left arm so as not to hurt his left shoulder. Then he sat at a table with a pen under his left fingers and tried to move it in all directions – pushing and then pulling it with his arm and shoulder muscles.

Karlton will be riding an exercise bike everyday in the afternoon to strengthen his leg muscles. He is willing and eager to get this going, so I hope the written schedule will hold. He then worked with a speech therapist for thirty minutes. Later, he walked outside around the grounds with an assistant in the late afternoon, so he had an active day.

Monday, 16th of September, sunny and warm. Karlton was weighed today, and he has gained two more kilograms to 72kg. His face is filled, and he no longer looks gaunt.

We had a “family meeting” with the director of ISIS, a nurse, PT, OT, social worker, speech therapist, and the case manager from ACC. The doctor explained the severity of Karlton’s injuries and all that had taken place since the accident. Each person gave a brief summary of what is being done/worked on at present, and the general consensus was that Karlton has done remarkably well at breakneck speed and hopefully, he will continue to heal and improve steadily. There will be another meeting in a month’s time, and at that point, the team hopes to be able to set a time for Karlton’s expatriation to the states.

In the afternoon during physio, Karlton had to take his shoes and socks off by himself and then try to cross his left leg over the right. The PT did not want him to use his right hand to lift the leg; instead he had to raise his left leg up as far as he could and place it over his right. It was a struggle at first, but after a few tries he was able to do it. Then he had to put his socks back on … which he did, and then his shoes. He needed help with his left shoe because of his ankle brace.

Next, the PT randomly placed six cones on the floor and Karlton had to place a ball on each one. The last time he had to bend down to do a similar exercise, he had lost his balance and got his legs in a very painful position. However, he had no trouble balancing himself, bending down, and placing all six balls. Hurray!

The last exercise was to stand on two scales. They showed that Karlton was putting more weight on his right leg. The PT told him to look up in the mirror and straighten himself up putting weight on his leg while keeping the left knee straight. It wasn’t easy, and he needed constant reminders to stand straight while he had to stretch his right arm over his head to the left.

Acupuncture and a massage appointment came next, so we “jumped” into the car and headed to north Dunedin. Four needles were inserted into his left shoulder and arm, down to his hand and six needles from his thigh and calf to his toes. Then electric current pulsed through his arm and leg. Later, an assistant did “cupping” on his back (a glass dome is heated and then placed on the body. The skin is pulled up into the glass vacuum and it is glided over the oiled skin). The session ended with arm and leg massage and “reflexology” on his left foot. Karlton slept through most of the session, relaxed, and letting his body heal.

Sunday, the 15th of September was a very warm day here Dunedin. I went to a health food store to get primrose oil to put on Karlton’s scars and to check out Manuka honey hand lotions for Jef. I also got some Bach flower essences made up for Karlton, since I didn’t bring my kit with me.

I thought Karlton would be sleeping in because he had been out late the previous evening. When I got here, Karlton had already had a walk around the grounds with a nurse and another patient. He said another nurse had awakened him up at nine, but he didn’t know why.

Many of the patients had gone home for the weekend or were away for the day, so it was nice and quiet here. We took it easy, and while Karlton was on the computer, I made apple crisp since some friends would be coming by.

While Karlton visited with his friends, I took a walk around the Wakari Hospital (ISIS is part of it) grounds with the wife of a patient. She had heard that there were nice paths and a pond hidden somewhere. It was great getting out and walking down the paths and finding ponds, a vegetable garden, a greenhouse etc.

Karlton still complains of back pain – especially in the area where he had the lumbar puncture and the two shunts put in – so I put a castor oil pack (Thanks Helen!) on him – warming the area – for two hours. He was very tired by then and ready to snooze! And “gracias a dios” he was not as negative or down today.

Karlton was very despondent and down when I arrived at ISIS Saturday morning – 14/IX/02. He did not want to do anything and just sat in his chair. Even one of his favorite nurses could not get him to budge. Finally, another nurse was able to talk to him, and he started talking to her. He was very depressed, negative, and downright sad.

Since it was a very beautiful day, we decided to go for a short ride. He showed me where he used to run, the rugby field where they practiced, and the sand dunes he had to run up and down. We went by some beautiful beaches – St. Kilda – and then we decided to go back to town so he could get his hair trimmed. Karlton wanted to go to Arc cafe first, saying he would just stay for 15 minutes, and then he could still get his hair trimmed. Well, the 15 minutes turned into two hours. He was happy talking to Nina and Gabriella and soon Sam came back from soccer practice, so Karlton was very content being there. By the time we left the cafe, the hair salon was closed, so we will have to go another time.

We all know Karlton is a big eater. He had a vegetarian pizza and a spirulina smoothie at Arc, and then 15 minutes later, he had macaroni and cheese at ISIS. A short while later, a friend called and invited him to a dinner party. I got directions from the nurses and dropped him off at the house around 8:20. I said I would call him around 9:30 to see how he was doing. It wasn’t until 10:00 that I was able to pick him up. I was surprised to see him enjoying himself and wide awake sitting by a fire in the back yard. He said he ate his third dinner, enjoyed chatting with all the young people there – especially a prominent Kiwi rugby player he’d known from before.

I was glad to see a happy and talkative Karlton, but he was quite concerned that he had ingested a very small amount of champagne by mistake, thinking that it was a glass of water. I tried to tell him not to worry, but he had to ask a nurse to make sure everything was going to be all right. He is serious about staying away from alcohol until his injuries have healed, and he said he does not want to take a step backward.

Karlton’s physical progess has been uphill, but now the mental and psychological challenges must be conquered. He realizes that the road ahead is monumental and and although he stays pretty focused and in pretty good spirits, there are times when he very down. Please continue to support him with your e-mails, cards, phone calls, prayers, and positive energies. A special thank you to Helen, Becci, Nina and Sam.